Makeshift Cross

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Have you ever felt like the scare crow placed upon a stick running up your spine with cross brackets running parallel to the ground holding your shoulder from being able to do anything. Your head bobs and weaves as the wind has it’s way with you, your muscles strain under the length of time you’ve had to endure this tortuous miss fortune;  fly’s, birds, insects, ants all bombard your flesh tearing at the very fiber of what you are.

The vivid images of what was once a beautiful life, I’m glancing through the photographs and memories of our dreams we created together in a world so very far from where I’m at.  Sadness is what I go to sleep with, like my childhood blanket comforting me from the boogieman, twisting and turning all night long, praying to see the sunrise so the relief of the day may begin. Hope has been dashed for the immediate future, my knees are sore with scabs from where I have kneltasking for solace, praying for a resolution understanding that all things take time but time is relative to the individuals involved versus the multitudes of observers.

I feel like I am being crushed under the weight of the tasks I have been asked to carry out ……… time …… the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future as a whole.  As I sit on my makeshift cross pondering, I wonder …… I wonder…….I wonder why do so many people get to sit at the table making decisions for my life, when they don’t even know who I am.

PS: to all those concerned about my mental health I am fine and dealing with life as it comes at me like everyone, just venting that people sitting in high places have so much power over the poor little guy just trying to follow the rules and make thing better for the world.  I am not a piece of paper, I am not a dollar bill nor someone golden calf pushing donations across a table to get my stuff fixed or granted.  I am just a guy trying to do the right thing, frustrated, pissed but just a guy not ready to jump off of any building just an American who disagrees with our system.

 

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